Is It Okay to Talk About Others in Therapy?
When someone starts individual therapy—especially for the first time—it’s incredibly common to feel uneasy about how much of their story involves other people, such as parents, partners, friends, family, in-laws, and coworkers.
I often hear things like:
“Is it okay to talk about others in therapy?
“I feel bad talking about them when they’re not here to share their side...”
If you’ve ever felt this way, I want to normalize something right away:
Feeling cautious about representing someone else’s experience shows empathy, kindness, and emotional intelligence. It speaks volumes about your character.
But in therapy? Your experience is what matters most.
Individual Therapy Begins with Your Story
In individual therapy, we work with the world as you experience it. We don’t meet your family members or coworkers—we meet you. We come to understand your emotional world through the lens of your personal, lived experience.
One metaphor I often share with clients goes like this:
“Imagine you, me, and the person you’re talking about all go to the same movie theater. We watch the same movie, hear the same lines, and see the same scenes. On paper, the facts are identical. But afterward? You might feel bored. I might be moved to tears. Someone else might feel irritated. Same movie. Different experiences.”
This is also how it works in therapy. Even when the facts of a situation are similar, what matters most is how you experienced it—emotionally, relationally, and internally.
Narrative Truth vs. Historical Truth in Therapy
In therapy, we often talk about two types of truth:
Historical truth — what can be objectively verified
Narrative truth — how you experienced it
Both are important. And one of my roles as a therapist is to hold space for your emotional reality, while gently helping you make sense of it.
I may ask clarifying questions or wonder aloud if there’s more to the story—not to challenge your version of events, but to understand your experience more deeply.
Together, we explore what feels true factually, what feels true emotionally, and where these truths may intersect—or diverge.
But therapy is not a courtroom. I’m not here to interrogate your memories. I’m here to help you find clarity, healing, and self-understanding through your story.
Your Emotional Experience Deserves Space
Your emotions and perceptions are windows into what shaped you—what hurt you, what you longed for, and how you learned to move through the world.
Even if someone else remembers things differently, your emotional truth is still valid.
Healing often begins when you feel safe enough to tell your story fully—without pressure to explain or defend it.
Telling Your Story is a Brave Act
Every time you share your story in therapy, you’re practicing self-trust.
You’re inviting someone to witness not just the facts, but the emotional meaning behind them. And through that process, you can:
Begin to heal
Find deeper clarity
Re-author parts of your story that no longer serve you
Therapy is your space. And your story matters.
