What to Do When Your “I’m Fine.” is Said in That Weird Ross-from-Friends Voice
“I’m fine.”
(Said in that slightly-too-high-pitched, clearly-not-fine Ross-from-Friends kind of way.)
You’re doing what you need to do. Showing up to work, replying to texts, keeping the house semi-decent. Maybe even making people laugh. On the outside, it looks like you’ve got it together.
But internally? It’s… not great.
Something feels off. You’re not in a full-blown crisis, but you’re not exactly connected to your life either. You're drifting. Performing. Functioning—but with a weird sense that something underneath it all has shifted.
That’s where identity therapy comes in.
When Everything Looks Fine—But Doesn’t Feel Fine
Sometimes change arrives with a headline: a breakup, a move, a diagnosis, a “life event.”
But more often, it creeps in quietly:
You realize the goals you worked so hard for don’t excite you anymore
You’re exhausted—but not in a way that sleep fixes
You keep showing up for everyone else, but feel miles away from yourself
You wonder when you last felt like you—and come up blank
There’s no dramatic breakdown. But something in your inner world has gone quiet. Detached. Muted.
And you’re left wondering: Is this just what life feels like now?
What Actually Happens in Identity Therapy?
Let’s start with what doesn’t happen:
You won’t be told to “reclaim your joy” or “rediscover your sparkle.” (Unless that’s your thing. No judgment.)
What does happen is slower, more grounded:
You start naming what no longer fits
You notice the parts of you that have been silenced, burned out, or shoved aside
You explore the pressure, grief, or expectations that might be shaping how you show up
You build self-trust again—even when you don’t have all the answers
There’s no rush to a shiny new identity. Just space to ask better questions.
Maybe This Scene Feels Familiar
Your friends describe you as the steady one. The capable one. The one who always pulls it off.
But when the house is quiet and your phone is down, a thought creeps in:
“What if I’ve built a life around what I’m good at, instead of what I actually want?”
You don’t need a crisis to want something different.
You don’t need a plan to start untangling what feels off.
Sometimes, all you need is a space to say, “Actually, I don’t think I’m fine.”
You’re Allowed to Shift
Even if nothing external has changed.
Even if other people don’t get it.
Even if you don’t fully understand it yet.
You’re allowed to evolve. To question. To want more.
Not because you’re broken—but because something inside you knows there’s more honesty, more alignment, more you available.
You’re not being dramatic. You’re being honest.
And that’s a great place to begin.
Schedule a session when you're ready to go deeper than “I’m fine.”
